Titles
by Kyrza E. Green
Summary: Thor and Loki argue about who's more awesome. Who will win, Loki or Thor? Tony's just there for commentary.


Kyrza: Tony, do the disclaimer.

Tony: Why me? Make Jarvis do it.

Kyrza: Do it, or I'll take away your popcorn.

Tony: Fine, Kyrza does not own Avengers, it belongs to Marvel.

Kyrza: That wasn't so hard was it?

Tony: *blinks* But that does mean Loki never control us like he wants?

Kyrza: *hits Tony with a rolled up newspaper* Shut up.

_"Loki talking"_

**"Thor talking"**

"Tony talking"

**_"Jarvis talking"_**

* * *

"_Thor, I have no idea why you even try to convince yourself. I mean, it's so obvious that I'm so much cooler than you."_

"**Excuse me, but who here is the god of thunder? Can you call down lightning and cause storms? No, I don't think you can. And not to mention, when I get sad, even the sky cries for me!"**

"_Pft. You're only the god of thunder and that's it. I'm the god of mischief, god of chaos, god of fire, and god of lies. And I can in fact cause lightning or storms using magic; I just don't see the point of being so flashy. You can only do that because of Mjolnir, and he whole sky cries for you thing? That only shows your poor control over it. All these years and you still can't manage to control it properly. How sad."_

"Haha, good one Loki, I never thought of that."

"**Friend Tony, are you not supposed to be on my side?"**

"Hey, don't get me involved in this, I'm just an innocent bystander."

"_Stark, you got yourself involved when you started eating popcorn and commenting on this."_

"I didn't know that talking would get me involved."

"_You could stop?"_

"Nah, this is just too much fun."

"_I knew you'd say that, And anyways, another reason that I'm obviously so much better than Thor is because I can wear a dress and look awesome, while he would look like a man in a drag."_

"That would because he would be a man in a drag."

"**Very funny, brother. Why would I even want to put on a dress, brother? I would never-"**

"_You put one on to retrieve Mjolnir."_

"**-do it. Besides, you're the one who gave birth to a horse."**

"Wait, so that myth's true?!"

"_So?"_

"**What kind of man gives birth to a damned horse?"**

"It is true…" 

"_Thor, in case you're forgetting, Sleipnir's my son. Are you implying that you have something against Sleipnir, you very own nephew?"_

"**O-Of course not!"**

"Hmm, it seems Loki's a protective mom. I'll have to remember that."

"_You better not, or else…"_

"**I'm still more awesome than you, though, I'm the Crown Prince of Asgard!"**

"_And I'm the First Prince of Jotunheim, and the Second Prince of Asgard, which means I'm more royal than you. That basically means I have power over the throne of Asgard should I wish it, and I don't have to worry about being the center of attention."_

"**You say that like being the center of attention is a bad thing. Brother, any attention is good attention! When will you learn that?"**

"Thor, I think what Loki's trying to say is that some people will always try assassination attempts, or do something like steal your underwear or rubber duck and sell it on eBay for a hundred bucks."

"_That happened to you, didn't it?"_

"Maybe."

"**Well, I'll still be king of Asgard!"**

"_And if I wanted, I could rule Jotunheim. And weren't you paying attention when I said I could be the power behind the throne in Asgard if I wished it? The only reason I'm not is because it's just so boring, and I don't like boring."_

"He's got a point, Thor. Don't you have better arguments?"

"**I have Mjolnir."**

"_And what are you without it? If you are separated from it, you're just an average Asgardian soldier."_

"**Even without Mjolnir, I am still the best combatant in Asgard!"**

"_Thor, you earned your titles and prizes while using Mjolnir, therefore, when you say that, we cannot be sure whether it is true."_

"**Well then, brother, what are you without your magic?"**

"_Even without my magic, I still have my charms-"_

"And how charming you are! Please note the sarcasm."

"_-my lies, my enchanted items which do not require magic from me, my frost giant abilities, and an assortment of other skills. You, however, would be left a bumbling fool."_

"**Dad likes me better."**

"_Low blow, Thor. But Frigga likes me better. Plus he let me keep the Casket!"_

"**Only because everyone else freezes when they try to use it."**

"_He still let me keep it."_

"**Well, girls prefer me to you."**

"Hey! If you're gonna say that, girls obviously like me better than anyone else!"

"_Seriously, you two? Speaking about women in such a way? Show some respect, or I'll make you see respect."_

"Oh, right, I forgot Loki's a mom. Sorry Loki."

"_And at any rate, I can charm anyone, not just girls. I'm just cool like that."_

"You know, Thor, Loki is obviously winning this argument, maybe you should just give up?"

"**NEVER! ODINSONS DO NOT EVER LOSE!"**

"_Well, there's a first time for anything…"_

"How about you Loki? Maybe you should be nice and let Thor win?"

"_Whose side are you on?"_

"No one's. I'm just an innocent bystander."

"_You're just doing this because you're nearly out of popcorn, aren't you?"_

"What? No, of course not! How could you even suggest it, you wound me!"

"**This has gone on long enough, brother. It is time to end it!"**

"_Oh no, not again…"_

"Huh, what's happening?"

"**BROTHER! UNLESS YOU ADMIT LOSING, I SHALL SMITE THEE WITH MJOLNIR!"**

"_Well then, time to make my exit. See ya Tony!"_

"**COME BACK BROTHER THIS ISN'T OVER! THIS ARGUMENT SHALL BE RESOLVED NOW!"**

"That was fun, you got it all recorded right, Jarvis?"

"_**Of course, sir."**_

* * *

This was inspired when I realized that Loki had more titles than Thor (god of mischief, fire, lies, and chaos to god of thunder) and was actually the prince of two worlds (Jotunheim and Asgard). To me, it was proof of Loki's awesomeness, hence this little fic was born.

This is also the first completely dialogue based fic I've written, so some feedback would be really, really, nice. *points to the review button*

_**And for every time you don't review, Loki's pet cat dies. You know it's wrong so review, review, review!**_


End file.
